Our senior producer for this episode is Julie Snyder. And I thought, well, he'll think I'm nuts, you know? But the good part about that was when I got home from the wedding, and my brother called me, and he said, you know what? People were definitely aware whenever both women were in the same room. I kind of felt like Bob and Kay were kind of keeping me at an arm's distance, because they weren't really sure how they felt or wanted to feel. He wants people to know Jesus Christ and that they would be saved. She's also religious like Sue. I tried out for cheerleading. I'm Ira Glass. I was just like, wow. Mr. McDonald ran the TV repair shop in town. Nobody would dance with me at the dances. And both Marty and Sue worry that the families that always thought were theirs and still want to keep them and both mothers and daughters each had to figure it out on their own. She heard it first from her own mom, who heard it at church. You know, you were not adopted. I think you know that you will always be our daughter. One of the mothers realized the mistake but chose to keep quiet. And the other thing was that he really thought, what difference does it make? This American Life, I'm IRA Glass. Just absolutely bizarre. Coming up, what it's like to be a mom and to learn at the age of 69 that your only daughter isn't actually your daughter at all. Download Share a clip Transcript Owen Freeman Prologue Kay McDonald is still tight with Sue, the daughter she raised, but she's also much closer with Marti. This week's podcast recommendations are my favourite episodes of This American Life, you're . I asked my mother. And quoting scriptures all the time for me to read to console me, because I had said that I had I had shed a lot of tears and and I had probably all of the emotions that you have with death in a family. And I really didn't know anything about the McDonald's. That's just how she is. And when Mrs. Miller finally let everybody know the truth, long after both girls were grown up with children of their own, it was disruptive. She didn't grow up with Sue, after all, and she's not actually related to her or to her kids. A month and a half later, she wrote the letter. When Kay's church was celebrating its 150th anniversary, for instance, Kay was chairperson for the event. "Dear Sue, I'm writing you this short note to officially give you my welcome to this Miller family and relationship.". Here's Marty. One of the most popular episodes of National Public Radio's "This American Life" is titled "Switched at Birth". No. He was he, in fact, would call me and tell me, you know, I don't care what she says. Actually, my mother wanted to go to court and have my name legally changed back to Sue McDonald and have Sue's name changed. And in the meantime, I had gotten phone calls from people I didn't even know that were telling me, you know, hey, I'm your brother. And I said, who told you to say that? Well, of course, we felt indebted to him for doing that. He didn't dance with me. My mother didn't have enough milk for me. You know, I I honestly don't know how much they communicate, how much they're in touch. So of course, we were elated when I did get pregnant. Miss Miller's husband, the Reverend Norbert Miller, was an evangelical preacher devoted to the church, and they were a bookish, serious bunch. But boy, it was a relief for me. All the Millers were invited and all the McDonalds were too. He's a roustabout. Our other children were very serious. Well, of course, they were really clamoring to get to know her. They nothing about it for 43 years. And my own bed, too, everything. But he had everybody convinced, I think, that it was God's will, but I had talked to several of our former pastors who knew about the situation, and they assured me that this was not God's will. And then to think that I didn't get to raise the one that I had wanted so much. Switched at Birth: Created by Lizzy Weiss. This summer, Bob McDonald, younger son, got married in period. And I you know, I wanted he had a band, I mean. And things are good with Mrs. Miller too. She wasn't malicious. I think what we do is pretty much our own doing. Here she is. On a summer day in 1951, two baby girls were born in a hospital in small-town Wisconsin. This episode, Switched at birth, is the episode they name. The Millers are the bespectacled, dark haired ones from the letter. And it is a much smaller family, just two kids. Just absolutely bizarre things like that. And then he danced with my cousin. And now she wanted everyone's role to be clear. Mrs. Miller's most ambitious scheme happened after the girls graduated from high school when they were about to be 18. He's just outright-- he's just saying, can you forgive me, just like that on the telephone? He, in fact would call me and tell me, I don't care what she says, you're still our kid and I'm glad we had you. You know, it's like I'm a teenager again and nobody danced with me. And she's going to get this popular Marti, who's so fun-loving and looks like her. How did you feel when he said this was God's will? Switched At Birth didn't escape the norm, and the two main actresses were far from being teens when the show premiered. They had dogs and raised angora rabbits. She could have been my aunt or my mother talking on the phone. Jake Halpern is the reporter. Between ourselves, Ruth and me, we or at least I always figured you lucked out, probably Martha, with her happy go lucky nature, could take the climate of the Miller home better. I wanted him to agree with me. No, no, no. It's set that up and. Besides her, there was Mary Lydia, Faith, Ruth, Sonny, Luke, and Esther. So we all we never said anything about it. And yeah, I think it might be. Our services run deep and are backed by over ten years of experience. They have mutual acquaintances. This American life is delivered to public radio stations by parks. But I kept looking for her. With Katie Leclerc, Vanessa Marano, Constance Marie, D.W. Moffett. She didn't have the social ease that came so naturally to Bob and Marti. Sue dismissed it as part of the whole sister thing, which she also thought was kind of weird. I was sure then that there had been a mix-up. It's all pretty straightforward. Thanks especially to the McDonald and Miller families for letting us into their homes and telling their stories. Punishes us in any way. And the moment he saw her, he knew that she was his biological daughter. Marty wrote a letter to Kay and Bob McDonald, her biological parents. For starters, Mrs. Miller didn't contact Marti and Sue at the same time. My mom said, oh, well, you just take after great grandpa this year and so on. I know that's who's your daughter and no one could ever expect you to feel otherwise. He finally did. He was popular and I wasn't. So I left Prairie du Chien and I was driving. This was the side of the family she was raised with, but she seemed tense, watching as Marti made the rounds, everybody laughing. Mrs. Miller's husband, the Reverend Norbert Miller, was an evangelical preacher, devoted to the church. Nothing seemed to miss to her. When Sue got married, for instance, the Millers gave her a trivet Norbert had made. I'm Ira Glass. The one-hour teen and family drama series, Switched at Birth, which premiered on ABC Family on June 6, 2011 finally reversed that course (Lacob, 2011). I promise you, I'll never try to make you think of me as your daughter. And the daughter, bear with me, ended up marrying Sue's brother Bob. Martha excelled in music, was a great cheerleader at school, very popular, and a blonde. Sue looks happy. Yeah, whatever. When we took our baby home, she sneezed five times in a row. She was 98 years old. And at the same time, you have a new mom or new daughter, it is not so clear what you're supposed to do with this new parent or new child who's now in your life. And he said, why wouldn't you have told me that? Marti eventually decided that the only way she was going to resolve this was by getting on a plane and flying out to Wisconsin to meet the McDonalds face to face and give them a real chance to get to know her. I mean, I'd say, gee, guess what, Bob? But she didn't call them right away. It was actually right after I met them. . He just has crazy ideas and he dreams these things up. I didn't get picked. One thing Mrs. Miller doesn't regret is raising Marti. I just couldn't believe it. Rest, fluids, medication to lower the fever. And so I kind of made a promise to myself that. I didn't get picked. Thanks. A week or so after the baby's birth, I was reaching for something way back in the attic closet and started to hemorrhage, then went into convulsions, back to the hospital for several days and despair for my life. Do let me hear from you. It's sad that it happened. I was shy or I was whatever. I don't even know who they are. S5 E5: Occupy Truth. And, you know, I'm reading this thing going, What do you mean these are my this is my uncle. Probably Martha with her happy-go-lucky nature could take the climate of the Miller home better. And I said, Who told you to say that? Occasionally she'd break down and cry. Since we first broadcast this story in 2008, the mom who knew about the baby switch at the time, Mary Kay Miller, has died. I mean, I knew that were things I couldn't do and. Kay McDonald is still tight with Sue, the daughter she raised, but she's also much closer with Marty. Bay grew up in a wealthy family while Daphne, who lost her hearing as a child, was raised by a single mom in a working class neighborhood. S1 E1 - This Is Not a Pipe Bay and Daphne discover that they were switched at birth. So I left practicing and I was driving. But Sue says there are a lot of things she missed out on, too, by not growing up with the Millers. Jun, 05, 2022 Switched At Birth is a fairly good show with a great concept that has been fairly well executed but there is just something that makes me not love this show. But it seemed futile trying to convince her husband Norbert. I was just not ever meeting their expectation of intellectual ism, and my mother has told me since then, you know, you I really didn't expect that much from you because I knew that you weren't our child. The Secret Life of the American Teenager. So. And he was very angry at first with me. In the show, one teen from a wealthy family discovers that. Finally, on July 10, 1994, Norbert was willing to go to Kay and Bob McDonald's 50th wedding anniversary celebration at Prairie du Chien United Methodist Church. That sort of spooked Marti, so she left it alone. I thought it was just Rudy being Rudy, you know, he just has crazy ideas and he dreams these things up. Ruth sat down in a pew near the front next to faith right before the service began. They said that was a cop-out. And know you have mixed feelings about this revelation. 'Switched At Birth' Makes TV History Feb 19, 2013, 04:39 PM EST "Switched At Birth" will air an episode told entirely in American Sign Language (ASL) on Monday, March 4 at 8 p.m. on ABC Family. This American Life is a weekly public radio show, heard by 2.2 million people on more than 500 stations. Slowly, anger began to set in. Nobody should have gone back and said this is not maybe. Because it was terrible that hang over your head and. Sue dismissed it as part of the whole sister thing, but she also thought was kind of weird. Thanks, especially, to the McDonald and Miller families for letting us into their homes and telling their stories. 7 Baby Girls Learn of Switched Fates as 56-Year-Old Grandmothers (1953) Via dailymail.co.uk In 1953, two baby girls were born on May 3 at the Pioneer Memorial Hospital in Heppner, Oregon. So now we are both aware of what happened 43 years ago. I tried out for cheerleading. She she. And keep his friendship, you know, if I turn against him, like, gotten on that. Mrs. Miller told people in the Evangelical Church that her suspicions, friends of hers and people she hoped would keep an eye out on Sue. And the Millers came. All she could do was hope that maybe if she dropped enough hints, calling the girls, sisters and such, Kay would eventually realize on her own what had happened. So I did think, yeah, she's going to know that's not my daughter. She worried her mother might reject her. It was pretty concealed right within our own church. Happy 43rd birthday to you, Sue. And in the meantime, I had gotten phone calls from people I didn't even know that we're telling me, hey, I'm your brother. But even if it did happen, there was no way to prove it. And Mary Miller explains why she was tormented by her secret but unable for decades to share it. rudy's bbq beans recipe yoshiki hayashi gender this american life switched at birth transcript. The fact is, Mrs. Miller longed for Sue, for her biological daughter, ever since she realized the mistake back in 1951. I'm IRA Glass back next week with more stories. He's an herbalist? The plot device of babies who are switched at birth, or in their cradles, has been a common one in American fiction since the 18th century. I was surprised that nobody really ever told us the booms, the teen or the Lancs, the Hasan's. Marti calls Mrs. Miller once a week to check up on her, just like Sue does. I was a crazy woman who thought I had her girl. And that's where it might have ended if it hadn't been for Mrs. Miller's letter a decade later. It wouldn't work. She thought she was going to die. She got along famously with their son, Bob. Bay meets Emmett outside a college party she got dragged into when he alerts her not to be in that neighborhood late at night. When I weighed the baby, she weighed two and a half pounds less than her birth weight. I don't care whether my husband objected or not. I don't have any idea. I couldn't do anything. And I didn't want it ruined. And you can see, they're just having so much fun and laughing together and just dancing away. For one thing, she explained just how sick she was after they'd gone home with Marty in 1951. Coming up, what it's like to be a mom and to learn at the age of 69 that your only daughter isn't actually your daughter at all, and, if that weren't bad enough, that lots of people in your town, people around you, knew years before you did. 10. She didn't have the Sociales that came so naturally to Bob and Marty. What would happen if you suddenly took a six month old away from the only mother she knew? Marti shared a bed with her sister, Faith, and had to crawl through this vent to get to the bathroom at night, because Faith would block the doorway to the hall. Lydia would make a good twin to her. So he did know it too. This is my brother. Very soon after mine, when we took our baby home, she sneezed five times in a row. I only let myself think about it one time. 3.75 avg rating 17,692 ratings. If I had as strong a feeling as she did that I had the wrong baby, I would have pursued it. I was shy or I was whatever. I promise you, I'll never try to make you think of me as your daughter. And he let Marti know that he still loved her. I love you both. And they stay up till all hours of the night talking. During this time, it was Marti's dad, Reverend Miller, who reassured her. It took an awful long time and I'm sorry for. I kind of felt like the like Bob and Kate were kind of keeping me in an arm's distance because they weren't really sure how they felt or wanted to feel. And I really didn't know anything about the McDonalds. And then there was the blondeness and the perkiness and the socializing. And the family's relationship with Dr. Deathlok was no small thing, either. I'm sorry. And of course, I thought that was foolish. Mark Twain. Mrs. Miller and Kay McDonald were actually in different churches.