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1. A blonde joke

There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store.

The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stopped to rest for a second.

When she sat down, her friend said, „Hurry up, it’s starting to rain and the top’s down!”


store – sklep

try – próbować

own – posiadać

top – góra, dach

lock – zamknąć


2. The English Language

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let’s face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn’t the preacher praught.


eggplant – bakłażan

invent – wynaleźć

ham – szynka

take for granted – oczywiste

pine – sosna

quicksand – ruchome piaski

pineapple – ananas

ring – krąg, arena

muffin – babeczka, ciastko

neither, nor – ani, ani

French fries – frytki

phone booth – budka telefoniczna


3. A school joke

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and she asked, „My name begins with the letter ‚M’ and I pick up things. What am I?” A little boy on the front row proudly said, „You’re a mother!”


second-grade – druga klasa

begin – zaczynać

pick up – podnosić, zbierać

proudly – dumnie

nail – gwóźdź

row – rząd

4. Little Johnny

Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. „Wait a minute,” she said. „I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”


misbehave – być niegrzecznym

call – dzwonić

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