Moving on, I finaly managed to coax my sister (I'm tired of writing Mrs. X) to tentativly guess that America fought in the Civil War. The author's vision was unique in that only he put biscuits and death in the same sentence. Butthat'd be a lot of work, unlike ranting, raving and rambling. And I only took the quiz once, too. She answered: England, Russia, and (out of sheer desperation) Iraq. Death is like life in that after you die some things start life again inside of you. 5 Wonderfully Long Literary Sentences by Samuel Beckett, Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald & Other Masters of the Run-On, Seven Tips From William Faulkner on How to Write Fiction, William Faulkner Reads from As I Lay Dying, Josh Jonesis a writer and musician based in Durham, NC. Oh, well. (Believe me, though, you never want to see me driveI get easily distracted by clouds and signs saying FREE KITTIES!kitties are hugablebut if you hug themthey'll scratch your eyes outso then you have to hiss at them and establish dominencebut kitties don't like thateven though dogs dobut kitties are obviously not dogseven though they are fuzzy.) In any case, wouldn't the blinkie light help night-vision cameras see in the dark? They may go to a resteraunt with an arcarde, or the movies or to a theme park. Halfway though I used my four remaining brain-cells to decide that the game was dumb. In obscure cookbooks. I am simply explaining why I, personally, refuse to swim, go to the beach, sunbathe, leave the house, etc. A la recherche du temps perdu by Marcel Proust., I got a sentence that was 5639 words long, i just looked it up so can can copy and paste it on my school chat for fun not to read, I just wanted to say, i really like cheese, andi thinki think my teacher is mad at me sry waitshes mad because i was asking my other teacher questions about work online hmmm.my teacher sure is a ##### ass feminist, i just wrote a sentence with 1,289 words so ha. See, very weird. Number Two: I could helped the earth to find eternal and lasting peace. *sighs dramatically* I'm back. And throughly pissed off at my school system in general. We got to go to a bar and play pool!!!!! One day I was randomly looking up images via Googleand 'lo and behold, there it was. Hi, I'm back. Did I mention that, yet. In other news, I participated in the Second Battle of the Asparagus Wars and chronicled them here. Spooky how accurate they areanyway, I command you to go! You don't know who Squirell is? If you can still think during all that incessent beeping, you'll probably find evidence that I'm really paranoid. If (and this is a big if) the world DOES survive, we can beg them for food, oxygen and other supplies. For that theory to work, I'd have to be psychicor in possesion of a freaky time-traveling computer. I can even see the shadow of my hand on the wall from the light those things shed. *hides large ax behind back* Come here, topic! The following text may spoil the movie for you, so WARNING: do no read this unless you have already seen the movie. Not that I know anything about medicineor cancer for that matter. And #5: You can give each of your pets several weird names such as: Ringling-Raison-Bailey-Suzana-Midnight-Schultz, Squirell, Moose, Moose-Moose, Moosey-Moose, Linzey-Moose, Muffin, Squirell-Muffin, Yabby-Doodle, Abby Normal, Wiggle-Baby, Wiggle-Muffin, Witle-Baby, Cheese-Monkey, Muffin-With-Squirell-Juice, Squirell-With-Muffin Juice, Moosey-Juice, Squirell-Monkey, etc. HenceforthCode: 666 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that under no circumstance will the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who) be forced to wear anything other than a t-shirt and preferably black jeans. Conviently, ice cream trucks come around during the hottest part of the year (it must be a conspiracy). It doesn't. I, being weird, am pretty much immune to such expectations. Good for it. Pastebin is a website where you can store text online for a set period of time. These cookies do not store any personal information. Every fantasy the human mind has concieved exist at some place in the universe. Or maybe it's notI meanwon't the quality *snicker* of my work deteriorate if I am no longer writing for the target audience of me? that was recognised in the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records was the longest ever written. I'll add a link to the main page when I get around to it. API tools faq. And one out of a million people would probably have a few sentences. Some even go so far as to claim that Kodak "changed" the pictures of the assasination to make an assasination in the bushes become a tree's shadow. Plus, the kids at the daycare (where I work, obviously) say that I'm "cool to talk to". Kodak, as you may know, is a film developing company. OkayI can do it. So if you're not most people, you've made it down this far without skipping, skimming or getting the spark notes version. Bye! I'm back. Apparently this page really is getting long, because my friend said something to that effect. This highly experimental and abstract piece was published in a series of volumes beginning in 2007, with the final 19 volumes being published in 2008. Did you know that I now possess a DOMAIN NAME? 8 min ago But for a different reason. *smiles brightly* And apparantly delusional! Don't worry, I'll go to bed soon. I get done at 9:15. -actual aids. i felt sorry for my dad. Subliminal messanging also explains the successes of certain fast-food resteraunts, and brand name items. "Traditionally, the longest sentence in English Literature has been said to be a sentence in Ullyses by James Joyce, which clocks in at 4,391 words. ONly not really. This would have resulted in the deaths of numerous pedistriansand I would still probably be wondering around in search of a McDonalds. Hmmmmmmonkey. I'm finnaly back! You see, if the universe is indeed infinite, that means that literally EVERYTHING is possible, and in fact, is happening somewhere in the universe. This has been a public service announcment. You wanna play that way. I figured you rush right on over to e-mail me. Now I want you to go to http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=eon" If you do this I'll get points in the game. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. And you probably suspect that it is something pathetic. they were special wings. On almost all the "purified" water bottles I've ever seen it has the following mesage: "Purified through reverse osmosis. Never mind. That meant that my mother would be in the back, with me and my younger, eviler sister. If you expect nothing and get something, you're happy. 1,288 words and many clauses make up the lengthy run-on phrase. It'd be cool. I hate Math. I've heard of poems and stuff written by people who were high, insane or paranoid. Would it be called DIS? First of all, you'd have to have an extrodinary amount of free time. Ooooo! The little counter at the bottom keeps going up? Goodbye! Or whatever. *waits for readers to become insanely jealous* Yep, that's right, a bar with a pool table! Isn't that sort of ironic? Then they add other "stuff" in to make it TASTE pure. (and redundancy!) They start out with half that number, and then just fill in words until they have the right amount. CEASE YOUR FLATULENT WINDS AND HEAR MY MIND NUMBING EXPULSIONS OF WICKED NOISE! It's about the (supposedly) infinite nature of the universe. I don't mean to insult you if you DO have a tan. He would do everything in his power to keep his dream from becoming reality. Keep pressing it. You know you want to! Unfortuantly, we had already driven 337 miles toward our destination. hello, I like to play Fortnite it is a really good game. It's a law, I think. We believe that this is the longest single sentence in . Okay, better leave. The food trucks could even play music that made you hungry for their food. I'm back. He then leaves them under his owners car. Josh says I probably won't remember writing any of this, but I can't sleep. Sentences can also be extended by recursively embedding clauses one into another, such as[2][3], This also highlights the difference between linguistic performance and linguistic competence, because the language can support more variation than can reasonably be created or recorded. That made him happy. During the weekdays, I get about seven hours of sleep (usually less) and wake up at 6:11 a.m. Yep. I can't really work on this site even though I now have a more in depth understanding of variables. Number Ten: This is the list that never ends. No suprise. She immediatly replied "Clara Barton". I was bored, and a dilligent reader suggested I make fake commercials, sotherer they are. Chomp" And he bites it. (There's probably drugs in it). I fought with vegitables, covered myself in bubble wrap, groveled before the Great Banana and dodge skittles and flying doughnuts and rubber chikens. Did it make more sense that this text? I don't exactly have a good track record with virtual pets. It doesn't smell funny, (I asked my brother, since I don't have a sense of smell), it seems perfectly ordinary. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE! I tell people I know about this site, but they either ignore this page, or don't even bother coming to the site in the first place. He can save mankind, and doom Trinity. Not that I exactly have a word quota for the day. You can just bet that they look at every one that get's turned in to them, judging blackmail value, and whether or not you could get arrested. The smoke detector either never went off, or went off and the people just slept through it. That means I really can justify claiming to have two and a half readers! As you read this Historicly Accurate Anecdote, you must realize the parallel between it and the fable The Emperoro's New Clothes. It tooked about envelooping (enveloping) cracked nuts and parables. Either way, Kodak is undeniably evil. Right now, my spacebar is malfunctioningthat's not goodI have to press it two or three times just to insert a freaking space. Outside your body. In a moment of inspiration, I asked her who America fought. Number Six: I could have implemented one of several plans for world domination. They particularly liked how I said that she went back and ran over it 11 more times. And once again suprised. Today I had the misfortune of playing a Treasure Planet game on neopets.com It was terrible. Either way, I'm continuing to sort of entertain myself. Since I'm not particualarly inspired at the moment, I should leave and let you gather what is left of your sanity. GeeI wish I'd thought of that sooner. Finnaly, is it expected for said sibling's non-gender specific parent to encourage such behavior, citing "I was just like that as a child" as an excuse? I think mine involved a jaunty song to sing. I gave him cupcakes, and presents, and did everything I could to befriend him! And now, for the million-dollar question: How many calories are there in a single serving of Mustard? Sodoesn't that make you want to take Kansas' side (I sincerly appologize if you are from Kansas). Of course, when I next saw my Mom, she retold the story to me, several times. If you want neat, go to some other site(though, as mentioned in Flaming Chickens Code:472 there is no such thing as a site better than this one). It doesn't matter. Ice cream trucks! This has been my hourly Public Service Announcement that I only do when I feel like it. It's called Hit-Or-Miss, any topics, plot, etc. Gotta gothe Russian-Brittish-Iraqi-enslaved-Africans are coming to defeat the Mexicans. Now I'm back. Not neat little text in classifiable rows, in alphabetical order. The movie ends with him in a coma. And hotand smoky. While studying at Johns Hopkins University, Barth found himself writing about his native Eastern Shore Maryland in a pastiche style of middle Faulkner and late Joyce. He may have won some praise from a visiting young William Styron, but the finished opus didnt flyfor one thing, because Faulkner intimately knewhis Snopses and Compsons and Sartorises, as I did not know my made-up denizens of the Maryland marsh. The advice to write only what you know may not be worth much as a universal commandment. So if you have an infinite number of people, some are going to have entire books of coherent stuff. But, act now, or it will be too late, and you will be one of the losers that we'll be laughing at, assuming we have air to laugh with. All rights reserved. I think I'll get my little sister to be the test piolet. I'm goin' light on the advertising at the moment, which is why I'm free to write here. Today my frazzled-brain produced something that is decidedly Jenny (that's my more or less "real" name). The answer is still infinity. One guy was a "shock therepy" patienthe was a good actor. Here, see if you can find the super-secret message! Speaking of animals, there's a cat in California who is a kleptomaniac (likes to steal stuff). I probley wouldn't actually print this out (think how much paper it would take!) Until thenI have absolutly no imaginary money. SEEYA! I founded the secret message, you ok man? I hate Math. 44 min ago For instance, I wrote: "I am the Crazy Taco! Before you know it you'll realize that you need Christmas earrings, Halloween earrings, Valentine's Day earrings, St. Patrick's Day earrings, for crying out loud! It's annoying. I sure hope other zoos won't copy them. It'd probley be as popular as those game shows that no one's ever heard of. THE REST OF THE STUFF I TYPE WILL BE COMPLETLY IN CAPS JUST BECAUSE I CAN. He tried to kill me! Especially since I just saw The Matrix: Reloaded. Wellthey are. You're shocked at my selfish, bad, memory. You must check out the fortunes section of the random stuff page! I promise. you will all suffer as i have suffered when and if you graduate. We'd probably go crazier. I don't know if Iraq even existed in the Civil War Era! It even SOUNDS weird. I'm just basically typing nothing. Seeya. NO, wait. But I can't think of anything to write about. At one point, I read an article that stated that it had been proven, conclusivly, that Kansas was flatter than the standard pancake. Parents would buy their children computers, video games and other television neccesities. Welltwo can play by THOSE rules. Then it would be okay. To support Open Cultures educational mission, please consider making a donation. Hey, where are you going?! I'm a genius. I knowyou are as shocked as I am. Perhaps you don't have time to waste e-mailing me. there were lots of fireworks. Longest Sentence By Rebecca Jones, Arts Correspondent. And then the quality will go down and the vicious spiral of good and bad will continue untill I either give up this text, or go crazyer. I love-d you moose! Welllet's see. Obviously not. Yeah, this doesn't mean anything to you. Right now, I have another twenty minutes on the Internet before I'm gonna watch T.V. As in, I was half-asleep, hoping that we'd arrive while I slept. Faulkners intimacy is not earnestness, it is the uncanny feeling of a raw encounter with a nerve center lighting up with information, all of it seemingly critically important. That was the high point of the entire trip. I'm just as upset about this unfortunate lack of development in the pie division. I need to find a topic. Sad to admit, but the majority of people would rather read the summary at the back of a book rather than the whole book itself. Since I have a rather weird phobia of touching my own skinthis made my evening my own personall torture session. No. The previous sentence made absolutly no sense. Oh, guess what? I wrote about furby, and how it was fun to watch it die. I got to go to a huge library, and see Terminator 3 at the local theater. Creepy. And I congratulate any reader who has gotten this far. . The height is regained at night, when you're laying down. After much argument, my father was going to turn around, untill he realized that my mother was going to drop the dogs and me off, and then turn around and continue north. In English, and stuff, if you miss one little detail, at most you lose partial credit, but you usually get it all right.