I was hoping that it was you. There are so many paths in life. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. The hardest pill to swallow is knowing nothing is as lethal as your personality. Its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. You should really come with a warning label. They made an ass out of themselves. A friend like you is like a good bra: supportive, comfortable, hard to find, uplifting, and always close to my heart! Happy Independence Day! It doesn't matter what gender you are, butts are generally a huge weakness for everyone! Ya IQ is -77666888389393488484829299292929 and my baby brothers is 1, when people make fun of adopted kids "At least they where wanted", Your the reason why there are instructions on shampoo bottles. 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Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice. Though, its not always easy to think of a comeback on the spot. "It's all in your head." 26. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Because that's where most MISTAKES and ACCIDENTS are made. Those born with dwarfism or with any condition that limits their physical stature do not, as a rule, choose to be called midgets.. Thank you for calling! Don't be ashamed of who you are-that's your parents' job. If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one pretty. I applaud your effort, but I think Im the only one in the audience. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! Send Hahahaha and when they respond what, text back Oh I was laughing because I thought your thumbs fell off and you couldnt text anyone back. I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. If thats not love, I dont know what is. And maybe youve felt called out, shamed, or devalued by someone elses thoughtless remarks. The 0.01% of germs are afraid of contracting stupidity from you. Your ignorance makes my racist uncle look like Albert Einstein. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. if your gonna be such a two faced jerk at least make one of them prettier, You so ugly , you made Kanye West , go east to avoid you, your mom so fat wen she. And no one who points that out is overreacting or being oversensitive.. The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded. You look so pretty. You are so full of crap, the toilets jealous. Jinkx Monsoon. I only thought you talk behind my back! Youre the reason the divorce rate is so high. Maybe you should eat make-up so youll be pretty on the inside too. The words mentally retarded were once commonly used to refer to people with a below-average IQ, either because of a congenital condition like Down Syndrome or because of a brain injury. Yo mamma so fat that Thanos had to snap twice, you sooo ugly when i saw you i thought i was dreaming, when your mom cuts onions and crys its because onions remind her of u, Your mum is so fat that when i pictured her in my head she broke my neck, people die everyday after seeing your face ya know, Yo mama is so old this meme is 90 yrs younger then her, your so ugly that i thought you were a posem, rahh most of your makeup can be cleaned with a wipe shut up, Is it just me or, is my roast more popular then you. 15. My apologies, how silly of me. "Oh, are you triggered?" 31. When everything in life is coming your way, youre probably in the wrong lane. Mister Rogers would be disappointed with you. You're so ugly that your mom said, "whos baby is that..?" 30. Youre cute. While were alive, were likely to experience failure or success, as long as were still doing things and striving to reach our goals. How much of a refund do you expect on your head, since its empty? It doesnt work. I thought of you today. your so dumb if we put you in a competition vs a baby the baby will win, Okay, my fatness can be fixed but your ugliness can't. Id agree with you but then wed both be wrong. Many people have been using ChatGPT and Bing chat to write long articles, poems, and even essays. So this page has all of the latest brutal roasts plus awesome bonus content. Share them whenever you get the chance! Yet even we introverts will sometimes refer to ourselves as antisocial when describing our behavior at social gatherings or our level of social energy at a particular moment. Whichwaydid you come in? Additionally, he loves to write zany fiction stories and take care of his pet frog. Cherry Blossoms In . I clean up germs all day, but no matter how hard I scrub, youre still here. Men or women might use this expression to goad another man into doing something they want him to do, whether its in his best interests or not. Who ate your bowl of sunshine this morning, thundercloud? Lets face it: life gets busy and oftentimes people forget to respond to text messages. I would roast you, but my mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. Try this: Call your friend and let them know you cant talk right now. I am listening. (& Other Questions! Impersonating Beyonc is not your destiny, child. RuPaul. Then please vote on your favorite roast below because your opinion matters. Experts reveal 19 things toxic moms love to say. "No one has ever said 'no' to . Ever. "What's it like to be a failure?" 21. You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. It implies that you see that person as nothing more than an object blocking the path to your goal which you see as more valuable than that person. Funny Things to Say to Your Friends Laughter is known as the best medicine for a reason. Using the word triggered, though, is insensitive to those who struggle with a real mental illness or with deep, emotional trauma. What would I do without you and our deep conversations? Im an acquired taste. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. His name is Dudley. Some of the people who use these expressions seem to think theyre doing others a favor by letting them know how theyre falling short. IT SPEAKS! I really enjoy the silence of your company. Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot. Are you normally this obnoxious, or is there some class you took? Im jealous of people who dont know you. Hi there, Im under 18 and my mom said not to talk to strangers. Wow, your maker really didnt waste time giving you a personality, huh? The tenth is just humming. Just remember that you dont want to come across as too clingy. Just beware of accidental miscommunications. You are not someone I pretend not to see in public. You have an entire life to be an idiot. Never play golf with a doctor who wears green socks. Your friends would be amused.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_4',197,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); If you like these savage roasts, youll also like this list of really funny comebacks, insults, and burns. A woman passing by remarks: If you were any sort of a gentleman, youd lift your hat to a lady. He replies: If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself., Whenever your ex says youll never find someone like me, the answer to that is: Thats the point.. Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot. Did I invite you to the barbecue? Earth has a population of over 7 billion, and I had to meet the biggest loser imaginable. Happy birthday to my best friend! You should really come with a warning label. Of course, you can also use funny insults on your best friends when theyre being a little too annoying. It looks like she went into Claires Boutique, fell on a sale rack and said, Ill take it! I have seen people like you. If you want to shut someone down when they start to get mean, you need to use one of these perfect comebacks: If you want to get the last word into an argument, you need to use these great jokes: Dont hold yourself back from saying what youre thinking. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? You're calling me gay? Text me when you wake up. I actually liked that one though. Louie Armstrong would have never released What a Wonderful World had he met you. The amount of meaningful things youve done in your life wouldnt be enough to fill a single page. And thats the best compliment I can give. I do when I enter, you do when you leave. They host a movie night every . You're so fat when you ate at KFC the waiter served you the bucket on the roof. A wife asked her husband: What do you like the most in me: my pretty face or my sexy body? He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor. I hope you wont be saying that to your wife, or if you do, may God send you a gorgeous mistress if that happens. I respect the opinion of everyone who agrees with me. It will make you appear strong. It got a little chillier in here once I realized you were a cold-hearted bitch. After all, I am always kind to animals. Everyone brings happiness to a room. You have no idea what youve done! Their apparent need for drama is their way of crying out for attention to something that has been ignored for too long. It suggests that only a woman who is being adversely affected by her female hormones during a particularly hormonal time of the month would dare be otherwise than docile and agreeable. words. If whats fun for you isnt fun for the other person (and vice-versa), its okay to be honest about this and either separate or do things separately. Jan 23, 2021 - Explore Leann's board "Mean things to say.", followed by 659 people on Pinterest. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Hey, I lost my phone, can you call it for me? do me a favor and give the clown in the mirror a highfive, Its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand, When people make fun of adopted children: "Honey at least I was wanted. "You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.". Your breath is the reason for climate change. Someday youll go far. 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